Coaching for Women Experiencing Vaginismus
What is Vaginismus?
The technical definition of Vaginismus is involuntary muscle spasms of the vaginal walls. How this shows up can be different for each person:
- Do you struggle with pain during pelvic exams (pap smears, ultrasounds, etc.)?
- Is it painful, or impossible, for you to insert a tampon?
- Do you battle with fear of insertion or pain with sex?
- Are you unable to experience painless intercourse or insertion of a finger, dilator or other object?
When attempting any of the above, do you feel like you've hit a literal wall? If this all sounds too familiar, you are likely experiencing Vaginismus.
What Causes Vaginismus?
There is typically more than one cause for the Vaginismus symptoms that you are experiencing. While there may be physical reasons (including abdominal or pelvic pain, fibroids, endometriosis, etc.) , many of the causes are mental and emotional. You may have:
- Experienced physical or sexual trauma
- Religious or cultural upbringings that discourage sex and pleasure
- Experienced an injury or complications with a vaginal birth
- Limited understanding of your body or experienced shaming of your body and female anatomy
- General anxiety, anxiety about sex and your partners expectations or experience
- Been holding inherited or ancestral trauma related to women’s bodies, sexuality, or safety, shaped by generational experiences of shame, repression, or harm
- There may be no specific reason
Can Vaginismus be Cured?
Yes healing is possible! Healing vaginismus is not just about penetration. It is about safety. Trust. Voice. Softness. Power.
When we work together, we gently untangle the layers — physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual — that may be holding tension in your body. This is not rushed. It is not forceful. It is deeply collaborative and paced with your nervous system in mind.
Coaching for Women Experiencing Vaginismus
Return to Grace Coaching
I help women struggling with Vaginismus achieve pain-free intimacy, emotional safety in their bodies, and a deep, connected pleasure with their partners, so that they can experience love, passion and full self-expression without fear or shame.
I work with women who are ready to reclaim their bodies, are willing to face the emotional roots of their pain, and are committed to doing the deep healing work required to feel free, feminine, and fully alive again.
If you are ready to:
- Release fear and shame stored in the body
- Rebuild trust with your pelvic space
- Understand your anatomy and nervous system
- Process relational or religious conditioning around sexuality
- Prepare your body for intimacy, motherhood, or simply peace within yourself
We can begin with a complimentary 60 minute conversation - a safe, grounded space to connect, listen deeply, and explore what healing may be unfolding for you.
My Return to Grace Story
Healing from Vaginismus
My name is Kim DeAngelis. I am a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, co-owner of an HVAC company, mother of two, and I am no stranger to the trials of Vaginismus.
From the outside, my life looked beautiful and well-ordered. I grew up in a loving Italian Catholic home as the oldest of three girls, did well in school (when I applied myself), stayed mostly out of trouble, and married my high school sweetheart in a Catholic church after doing everything “the right way.” We bought our first home, adopted a cat and a dog, and I climbed the corporate ladder at a billion-dollar financial institution. Life looked full and blessed. But quietly, beneath the surface, I was unraveling.
Our marriage was unconsummated. I had never used a tampon or completed a pelvic exam, and even looking at or touching my own body filled me with anxiety. I lived with vaginismus in silence, carrying shame that made me feel broken as a woman and as a wife. I longed to be a mother more than anything, yet dreaded the inevitable questions about starting a family. I tried therapy, searched late into the night for answers, ordered dilators and hoped for a miracle—but each failed attempt deepened my loneliness and despair. I began to believe this was simply the life I would have to accept.
What changed everything was choosing not to give up. I found a compassionate naturopath and gynecologist who treated me holistically, a massage therapist who bravely shared that she had walked this road too, and eventually a pelvic floor physical therapist who became the turning point in my healing. Together, these women helped me understand my body, soften my trauma, and rebuild trust with myself. In my late thirties, I overcame vaginismus—and in doing so, I reclaimed my body as a place of safety and strength. I became a coach because no woman should have to walk this path alone; our bodies are not the enemy, but sacred doorways back home to ourselves.
